125 Very Simple Rules for a Happy Life

September is here again. It is a time of new beginnings for millions of students throughout the world; children and young adults often in need of guidance. It should also be a time of introspection for those of us in the workforce. Do we have the right goals? Have we made the right choices? Are we as happy as we’d like to be?

To help the process of introspection, I have written, in no particular order, 125 pieces of advice on how to best get through the year as a happy, well-balanced human being. God knows we need those.

Be on time
Keep your word
Buy the orange properties in Monopoly
If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room
All dogs are the best dog in the world. Pet that dog. Go on
Don’t cling to a mistake because you spent a lot of time making it
If life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work
Don’t send nudes using non-encrypted platforms
Don’t underestimate the role of luck in life. Not all success is due to hard work, and not all poverty is due to laziness
When someone tells you you’ve hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t
Thank the cook before Instagramming the food
When it comes to investing, boring is sexy
A gun is always loaded
In a crisis, all correlations go to 1
Love always takes work, but it should never take suffering
You don’t buy beer, you rent it
Don’t try to create and analyse at the same time — they’re different processes
Always sit at the bar — being on a first name basis with a good bartender is one of life’s rare pleasures
Money won’t make you happy — but it’s more fun to cry in a BMW than on bike
Compounding is the strongest force in the Universe — use it to your advantage in love, friendship and finance
Return to the mean is the second strongest force in the universe
Don’t believe everything you read on the internet. Abraham Lincoln said that
Punch up all you want — but never down
Never gloat — pride is not the antidote to shame, but its source
Invest in great luggage
Confidence is quiet, insecurities are loud
Don’t worry too much about controlling your emotions; control your actions instead
If you offer to help, don’t quit until the job is done
Be a good listener; don’t just take your turn to talk
A good therapist is the best thing in the world. A bad therapist is worse than no therapist at all
Principles only mean something if you stick by them when they’re inconvenient
When you do something right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all
Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should
Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good
Giving money is good; giving time is often better
You are both more and less special than you think you are
Nobody is ever against you. Nobody will ever care enough about you to be against you. It’s an incredibly liberating realisation
Sympathy is a crutch; never fake a limp
It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself
Admitting you’re wrong isn’t a failure — it’s an opportunity
If you’re frustrated with someone, change the medium: call if you usually text, email if you usually talk…
Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace
Remember that owning a house and having a home are often two very different things
You only get one chance to notice a new haircut
Remember that your personal experiences make up 0.00000001% of what’s happened in the world but 80% of how you think the world works
Never call someone before or after 9am and 9pm (exceptions may apply)
Be decisive. Right or wrong, make that decision. The roads of life are paved with flat squirrels that couldn’t commit to a lane
There are plenty of ways to enter a pool — the stairs are not one of them
Thank the bus driver
Know at least one good joke
Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out
Giving up is often the best choice there is. Too many people drag along projects with poor odds of success for far too long
Your goals are meant to honour you, not fix you
A handshake beats an autograph
Forgive yourself for your mistakes
Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires and sheets
If you don’t do anything to stop a mistake from happening again, you can’t keep calling it a mistake
Physical and mental health are both equally important
Don’t eat lunch alone or at your desk if you can avoid it
Don’t judge too quickly: we have a tendency to want the other person to be a finished product while we give ourselves the grace to evolve.
Know the size of your partner’s clothes
You are what you do, not what you say
In order to get something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done
Some occasions call for vodka. Others for tea. Know the difference
Don’t boo at sporting events
Don’t be the talker during movies
Make goals for the next 18 months AND for the next 10 years
Don’t follow your dream: people who say that are already rich
You’re never too old to need your Mom
Costs and risks are both financial and emotional; the weight of both depends solely on you
Look people in the eye when toasting
Know how to cook at least one good meal and how to prepare at least one good cocktail
If you’ve made your point, stop talking
Get up. Dress up. Show up. That’s always a good start
When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best
Try to get rejected at least once a week. You’ll never believe all the cool places you’ll end up getting into
If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company — you have to like yourself for others to like you
Hope for the best. Plan for the worse
Try most things once, but not everything
Humility, graciousness, intelligence, and empathy tend to generate more respect than bottle service at the club
The work in every relationship should be split 60/40, with both people trying to be the one giving 60%
When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
The best way to show thanks is to wear it (even if it’s only once)
Never get your haircut the day of a special event
The first step towards true greatness is wearing clean underwear
When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family
Under no circumstances should you ever ask a woman if she is pregnant
You make choices, and your choices make you. It goes both ways
You only improve when you’re up against someone who’s better than you
Make time for your mother on your birthday — it’s a special day for her too
Sometimes, the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else
Always thank the host
Never lie to your doctor
Give credit. Take blame
When life gives you lemon, don’t just make lemonade. Sell it, too
Admit when you’re wrong
Know how to keep others’ secrets
Time spent with grandparents is time well spent
It’s never too late for an apology
Be the friend who makes a decisive call when everyone else is waffling about
Don’t use your safety net as a hammock
Be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness
Never answer the phone at the dinner table
If you’re staying more than one night, unpack
Lying is OK, but every lie you tell is a lie you have to keep track of
If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late
Know how to use Excel at least as well as your boss
Be nice to kids and teenagers: reputations are built over a lifetime
You won’t always be the strongest, smartest or fastest. But you can be the hardest working
Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on a bench alone
The most important decision in your life is picking the mother/father of your children. Compatibility, shared values, friendship, trust, responsibility, character, etc. matter at least as much as love
Vote in every election (national, regional, local)
99% of people who got wealthy did it by betting ON something, not against something. Positivity wins
Don’t make decisions under the influence, be that drugs, alcohol or emotions
Always know the interests of the person you go to for advice. I do it for clicks
If it’s easy it isn’t worth doing. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone
Only look in your neighbor’s bowl to make sure they have enough; not to see if you have as much as them
If you launch and no one notices, launch again
Don’t take yourself too seriously
Don’t ask “what if things don’t work out?”, ask “what if it does?”
Be who you needed when you were younger
Have fun, otherwise it’s not worth it
If you like something, say so. It will make someone’s day
Social media only makes us feel better because we can shout into the void and the echo makes us feel like we’re being heard — avoid it